On a sunny November day, Team Rose - together with a small group of friends and relatives - gathered around the grave in Cheshunt Cemetery where Rose's mother and stepfather were laid many years ago.   Rose had always told us that when her time came she would like to join them under the tree which grows in a peaceful part of this well-kept cemetery.

Sarah Newens, Rose's cousin, spoke movingly of Rose's positive attitude to life as follows:

Today we come together to inter Rose's ashes and to reflect on her life.

Rose wanted her final resting place to be here in the grave of her parents. It is lovely that some members of her family and friends are able to share this event together. Going through her papers, I came across a few news cuttings about the funerals of her mother Rosina Florence and her stepfather William Henry Temple, both of whom are buried here. Amongst the mourners for her mother in 1957 (the year I was born), were Ron Lewis who is here again today, her cousins, my grandmother Celia Newens and my great-aunt Sarah Wilson. In 1965, for her stepfather, one of the mourners was once again Ron Lewis. Wreaths came from Mr and Mrs RE Stevens. The Stevens family remained in Rose’s life throughout. Ron Lewis is here again today and my brother Tom and I, grandchildren of Celia Newens.

During the last few days, I have been reflecting on the 103 years’ life of my relative whom I only came to know in the last few years. The fact that she has made such an impression upon me is indicative of the lovely person she was. The fact that so many people here today have connections with mourners at the funerals of her parents demonstrates she was a loyal friend and family member.

This ceremony takes place a few days after Remembrance Sunday. Rose was directly impacted by both wars. Her father Edward Howard was killed in December 1917 in the First World War so she never knew him. Her step brother William Temple, with whom she was close, was killed in 1939 in the Second World War in the retreat to Dunkirk. Her whole life was changed as she moved to this area from the East End of London to work locally in the Land Army.

I put on her memory page that she was a “cup half-full” type of person. I reflect on how someone who suffered so many sad losses in her life stayed positive, seized what life had to offer, had so many friends and remained in touch with extended family. I wish I had known Rose sooner as she was clearly fun to be with and brightened the lives of those who came in contact with her. Having only got to know her in the last ten years, I have come to know through her and be thankful for some new friends - her neighbours Gil and Sandy and her carer Jo, people with whom I very much hope to keep in touch. They in turn have been such a great support to our family after my father Stan died in early March, shortly after Rose’s funeral. So thank you, Rose.

Let’s not go away today sad. Let us keep Rose’s memory in our hearts and let Rose be an inspiration to all of us to grasp life, live it to the full and be thankful for dear friends and family.

Sarah Newens
16th November 2021

Gil, Rose's friend and neighbour, thanked Sarah for arranging today's little ceremony and mentioned messages about today from the Stevens family and Ros Gordon on the Isle of White (Rose used to babysit her). 

Gil then spoke about Rose's astonishing capacity for friendship. "When we first moved next door," she said, "we were astounded by the constant comings and goings as a stream of friends came to visit.  Rose could often be seen running down the steps to be taken out to lunch or shopping (she was 97 at that point) - it was a bit like living on Piccadilly Circus!"   Gil pointed out that Rose not only made friends throughout her life, she kept those from early years too, as witnessed by the number attending her 100th birthday (which included children and grandchildren of her original friends).   

Gil said she counted it a privilege to have found such a friend so late in life, and wished that they had met sooner. Since friendship is one of the main words that comes to mind when thinking of Rose she chose to read some of the section on Friendship from the book The Prophet by Khalil Gibran.  "I first read this at the funeral of one of my earliest, and therefore, oldest friends." she said. "We met at the age of 11 at boarding school and stayed friends for the remaining forty years of her life. Now I should like to read it in memory of one of my latest - but still oldest! - friends. Dear Rose."

And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship.

And he answered, saying:

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

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When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

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And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Khalil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

Jo, Rose's friend and carer, carefully laid her ashes in the prepared space and Tom Newens placed the beautiful flowers on the grave.

After some discussion with the funeral director, Andrew, about the forthcoming renovation of the grave and the stone, we then all adjourned to The Crocodile pub, not - as Rose would have expected - for a reviving spot of alcohol, but to drink coffee out of their very beautiful cups and to exchange memories of Rose.   Ron, Rose's 95-year-old "cousin by marriage" could of course remember way back into her past, so some of those were very early memories indeed.   

There was, as in any chat with or about Rose, "laughter, and sharing of pleasures" - and Rose arranged for the sun to shine throughout.